Dating Violence in Schools

by Mary Ann Romans | More from this Blogger

07 Oct 2008 03:29 PM

Dating violence is becoming more and more common. Possessive boyfriends that become jealous, demanding, isolate young teen girls and then finally become violent with them are not usual even on school grounds. Sometimes dating violence has fatal consequences that can end a young life and leave her family in ruins.

Just two states mandate teaching kids about dating violence in schools. Texas mandates awareness education on dating violence, although the specific education requirements are not specified. Other states say they encourage this education, although it is not required. But Rhode Island is progressive on the issue. It recently passed a law that requires that the topic of dating violence be taught in schools every year for students in seventh through 12th grade. The education will be part of the health curriculum.

The new measure is called Lindsay Ann Burke Act, after a young woman who lost her life as a result of dating violence. The hope is that the education will be able to help students identify the early stages of an abusive relationship and teach them how to say safe.

What are some of the possible signs of dating violence that you can look for as a parent? Dating violence can be hard to spot, especially by the teenagers themselves, who may not have experience in healthy dating relationships. A boyfriend (or girlfriend--while I refer to this happening to girls, because most of the time it does, that is not to say that boys can not be victims of dating violence) who is overly controlling, is a sure sign. Many abusers tend to isolate their victims away from friends and family. If the boyfriend is constantly calling, texting and wanting to know where she is at all times, it can be a big sign that there is something wrong.

You should work with your teenager to develop a dating safety plan, such as to double date, to let a parent or friend know where she will be and what time she will be home, to stay away from alcohol, to assert herself when necessary and to trust her instincts.

According to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship! One in three.

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Mary Ann Romans is a freelance writer, wife and mother of three children. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, the kids and a 16-pound cat.

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Samual (11722) 08 Oct 2008 07:00 AM

We've had this in UK schools since I was at school, which is a very long time ago.

Mary Ann Romans (26876) 08 Oct 2008 11:38 AM

That is progressive. I hope that the US catches up. At what age/grade did the program start?

jonesx6 (1606) 08 Oct 2008 12:06 PM

Wow! This is very unsettling to hear. Sorry to say this-another reason to home school. ;o) Laura

Samual (11722) 08 Oct 2008 12:32 PM

Right from the beginning of school at 4, you are taught that physical and mental abuse is wrong, then when you start secondary school aged 11 it turns into domestic violence.

Andilei (70) 18 Nov 2008 08:23 PM

I wish something like this had been taught in my schools. I have never seen a teenage relationship actually get physically abusive but I have seen them get borderline mentally and emotionally abusive. The sad thing is that people get in these relationships and never realize that it is getting bad. I think if something like this was taught it would really help out.