Do You Push Your Child Too Hard?by Lyn Newton | More from this Blogger 17 Jul 2008 03:07 PM Most all parents want the best for their children. They want them to succeed in school as well as in life. This desire for their children to well in life, especially school, can in some cases become obsessive. Parents forget that in many cases people learn by making mistakes. Parents can push their children too hard to do well. Many parents begin "training" their children to do well in school and get an early start at a very young age. They begin urging their baby to take steps and tossing flash card pictures in front of their toddlers. They drill their preschoolers on letters and numbers and singing the alphabet. Some parents begin to actually coach their children in which answers to questions are appropriate. In some extreme cases, these children begin to become afraid to think for themselves. They fear letting down their parents by giving the wrong answer. Some parents push their children out of guilt. Working mothers may feel guilty about having to leave their child with a sitter. In attempt to make up they give their child structured activities such as computer classes and tutoring sessions. The best way to make up for lost time with their children would be through play with each other. Some parents push their children so they can have a better life. If the parents had a struggle in life, they may feel that if they push their children to succeed then the same struggles will not be faced. Sadly some parents push their children for another reason. That reason is parent competition. These parents want the claim of their child being number one. They push for the best preschool and the best prep school and so forth. These parents push for their children to be the best at sports. These parents find joy not in their children's success but in the fact that their children are ahead of others. Are They Doing it For Themselves...or for Mom and Dad? When a Child Does the Opposite of What You Want Point out Behaviors in Other Children Learn more about Lyn Newton  Lyn is a kindergarten teacher and mommy to a girl and a boy. In her spare time, she enjoys informative and creative writing. Relevanteducation tags User Comments Samual (11722) 17 Jul 2008 03:22 PMWe don't if Mikey wants to practice reading or writing his name, but if he doesn't want to do it he doesn't have to. I wouldn't want to force at all, maybe moan abit during exams at 16 if any of them weren't revising, but if they don't do the work it's their choice and they have to live with the consequence in the end, you can't make them learn, just support them and help them when they need it.  Debbie Vasen (1072) 17 Jul 2008 03:50 PMI have a hard time drawing a line between teaching my kids important lessons vs. letting them learn it for themselves. I believe an important part of being a parent is to guide and educate your kids, however, I also realize they also need to make mistakes and do things on their own. As they grow older, I am having a hard time determining when to step in and when to step back... any advice???  Lyn Newton (3966) 17 Jul 2008 05:29 PMI can sympathize with you! Don't you wish they came with instructions! I think that there are some things that teens simply will not take your word for. For example, unfortunately drinking is usually one of them. I think that if you see your children heading down the wrong path, it is your duty to advice them and discuss other choices. However it comes to a point when it is just no longer mama and daddy's job to bail out the kids. They will have a hard time in real life (an college) if you always catch them before they fall. I think going with your heart will always put you in the right place. Use your maternal instincts. Good luck!!!  Andrea Hermitt (5512) 18 Jul 2008 07:39 AMI agree with this completely when it comes to life lessons. When it comes to education and life planning, I think a parent needs to set expectations. You WILL go to college. You WILL get good grades. You WILL NOT drive drunk. If you aim them toward the stars, you will at least get the moon. Lyn Newton (3966) 18 Jul 2008 08:01 AMTrue. However I think that saying you will get a scholarship and you will get into law school and you will be in a fraternity is too much. roger123 (5) 18 Jul 2008 10:10 AMChild has more observation power so It is right in few conditions specially In school except this parents should not push him in hard work. ______________________________________________ roger Discuss this article
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